going numb

This is my virtual rocking chair where I sit and ponder faith. I love to write even when it is about something I know so little about-like faith. More than twenty years ago I began my journey with Christ Jesus, hand in hand I have walked with Him...mostly. Our walks include this third companion we call Faith. Faith seems to be there all the time except when I can't see her. (I warned you that I didn't understand).
I hope you will come along on my journey, perhaps we will learn together. If you enjoy what you read please follow this blog and share it with friends, and don't hesitate to leave a comment...I can take it!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

The Anything Tree (part 3)



Thomas finished the last piece of the pumpkin pie, leaned back on the bar stool and belched. Instinctively his hand came up to cover his mouth as he mumbled “excuse me” to the empty room. The appreciative burp was the only sound in the room except the muffled noises coming from somewhere in the back as Gabriel searched for a suitable tree. Thomas had doubt that the old man would actually return with a tree! He looked around the shop again. With no doubt the shelves were filled with hundreds of different nick-knacks, colors and flavors, but nothing that looked like a plant, much less a tree. Thomas reprimanded himself again for losing the tree list.

His self-reprimand was cut short when the double doors opened with a bang. Carrying a large black pot with a tree rising above the rim was the little shop owner. With a wide grin on his wrinkled face, Gabriel carried the large pot over to a small two top table and sat it down. With hands on his hips he arched his back slightly, Thomas could hear the bones cracking and popping like kettle corn.

The tree stood about three feet high. The branches that came off it were scarce and practically bare. Most of them drooped, especially those near the top, as if or bowing down to some unseen king. The few buds or small leaves that were on the tree were pale yellow or an insipid green. This tree looked sick and yet Gabriel stood by the table with the look of a proud papa, smiling from ear to over-sized ear.

“Come here, come here. Get a closer look at this wonderful tree. I told you we are the Everything Shoppe! Come and look Thomas!”

Thomas climbed down from the bar stool wand walked over to the small table. Closer inspection didn’t improve the picture of health for the small tree. Thomas noted that even the pot that the tree resided in seemed old and incapable of holding soil or badly needed water and yet somehow it held together.

“Sit down and take a closer look. “ Gabriel read the look on Thomas’ face.

Thomas followed the direction of the shopkeeper and sat at the small table.

“What kind of tree is it?” Thomas asked.

“I don’t know. See that small tag hanging from the bottom branch? Turn it over, the species should be written on it.”
Thomas turned the tag over with his larger clumsy fingers. He looked at the small and neat handwriting on the back. “N.E.THING” was carefully written with black ink, Thomas’ look of doubt transformed into a look of perplexity.

“What’s an N E Thing tree?”

At first Gabriel chuckled, and then his chuckle turned into full hold-your belly laughter. After a full minute of laughter, Gabriel pulled out the second chair and sat down next to Thomas.

“Well it’s not an N E Thing tree. That’s an old tag that must have fallen and got hung up on the tree branch. Long ago, before this was the Everything Shoppe, my dear wife named it the N E Thing Shoppe.  Her first name was Naomi. My middle name, which she favored over Gabriel, is Edgar. My last name, in case I haven’t told you is Thing. N.E. Thing Shoppe!  But over time we had so much stuff cramming the shelves that people starting calling it the “Everything Shoppe”. Well it made since so we officially changed the name in ’53. I haven’t seen one of those small tags in years. Naomi tried to tag everything that came into the shop, she would spend many late night hours writing out those tags and putting the price on it. Thomas does that one have a price on it?”

Thomas looked at the tag again. Faded but legible, written below the block letters was “25¢.”  

“It say’s 25 cents.” Thomas answered.

“Well what a deal you’re getting!  A tree for a quarter! For that price it don’t really matter what kind of tree it is.” An ear to ear smile returned to Gabriel's face.

“I can’t pay a quarter for a tree Gabriel. That’s not fair...no matter what kind of tree it may be.”

“That’s the price tag on it. House rules, whatever it says is what you will pay. That’s Naomi’s second rule, right after “Your break it you buy it.” Gabriel chuckled again.

Thomas thought for a minute before speaking again.
“I don’t know. I already messed up by losing the list. If I show up with this scrawny little tree, even if it only cost a quarter, they will probably shoo me out of town.”

“It won’t always be scrawny, Thomas. It’s almost wintertime, which means it is still fall. Fall is for planting!  Why if you get this tree into the ground now, by the first signs of spring I bet you have the best looking tree in all of Eden.”
“But what do I tell everybody when they ask what kind of tree is it?”
“You can tell them to wait and see. Or tell them it is an Anything Tree. That’s what the tag said.”

Gabriel cleared his voice and moved closer to Thomas.
“Tell them it is whatever tree they wanted. If they wanted an oak, tell ‘em it’s oak. If they asked for a pear tree, tell ‘em it’s a pear.”
“That doesn’t sound like the right thing to do; it sounds a lot like lying.”
“Thomas, what kind of tree is this?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then how could it be lying?”
 Thomas Gallo was just a little slow, but this last puzzle the little old man tossed his way was too much.

“Well look there, the sun is coming out. I think you better get back on the road to Eden before the next batch of bad weather gets here. Pay me for the coffee and the tree; I’ll slice you another piece of pie for the road, no charge.”
The mention of another slice of pie took the puzzle and the thought of lying right out of Thomas’ mind.
“That’s nice of you Mr. Thing.” Thomas smiled.
“If you ever get down to Eden be sure and come find me. I think I owe you a lunch of your own.”
“Well thank you, Thomas. I might just do that. Now load up your tree, while I grab that pie. My knees tell me bad weathers on the way.”

As Thomas Gallo drove away he saw the flickering lights of the neon sign pulse once or twice. They “y” in everything” lit for just a second before all the lights went out.
“’Y’ indeed?” Thomas thought.
To be continued.

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Any Thing Tree (part 2)



The thought of having a good piece of pie had Thomas’ stomach rumbling. He had  bowl of cereal for breakfast but that suddenly seemed so long ago. Hot coffee and pie, Thomas was happy he had pulled into the parking lot of The Every Thing Shoppe.
“Do you have pumpkin pie?” Thomas asked the old cook.
“I got one cooling on the rack this very minute, just pulled it out of the oven as you were pulling that big truck into the lot.”
Suddenly the fragrance of fresh coffee was blending with the sweeter aroma of pumpkin pie. The bouquet of the combined aromas was irresistible; Thomas thought this is what Heaven must smell like.

Gabriel had set a cup and saucer in front of Thomas and was filling it with steaming hot coffee.
“I will be right back with two pieces, one for you and one for me.” With that he turned on his heels and disappeared into the back of the house. Thomas took a quick sip from the cup, holding the small handle carefully between thumb and finger. He had half expected the coffee to be too hot, the steam rolled off in steady swirls, but the temperature was just right, in fact it was perfect.

The shop’s owner, slash cook, slash waitress, came back through the double doors carrying two plates, each a temporary home for a very large piece of pumpkin pie. Gabriel set the larger piece in front of Thomas and produced a fork from somewhere beneath the counter.
“Dig in Thomas; you will never taste a better pumpkin pie.”
The fork cut through the golden silk of the pie with no resistance. Thomas closed his mouth around the fork and let the flavors of the pie rest upon his tongue.  
“Oh my!” is all he could manage to say around the mouthful of the best pumpkin pie he had ever tasted, and Thomas Gallo had tasted a whole lot of pie in his thirty years of life. His mother had died last year, but if she was alive Thomas would have told her that her pumpkin pie was now the second best, for he knew that to be the truth.

Gabriel watched as his only customer enjoyed the pie. “It’s the dash of nutmeg and splash of cinnamon that makes it so dang good. My wife made the pies here for many years, but she went Home to Jesus almost seven years ago now, leaving the baking to me along with everything else around here. But that pie you’re eating now ain’t her recipe.”
“Is it yours?”  Thomas asked around another mouthful of pie.
“Nope. An old fella from Eden came in here one evening; I believe the weather was bad that day too.  We got to talking about cooking and such and he gave me his recipe for pumpkin pie. I’ve been using it ever since.”
“Hey, I’m from Eden!” Thomas managed to say after swallowing a too large bite of the pumpkin delight. “What was the fella’s name?”
 The cook rubbed his whiskered chin again, “It will come to me in a minute. He was one of the nicest men I ever met though. Sharing pie recipes, talking baseball and religion, you would have thought we had been friends for years. I know his name was biblical...Samuel, that’s it, Edward Samuel. Do you know him?
Thomas wasn’t sure if old Mr. Samuel’s first name was Edward or not, and not too many people would have described him as a nice man.
Gabriel corrected himself, “I guess I should have asked did you know him.  I heard he died just a couple of weeks ago.”
“Well I believe I did. I knew a Mr. Samuel from Eden and he died just a couple of weeks ago. But I don’t think I ever heard anyone call him Edward or nice.”
“Could be most people didn’t bother to get know him, or share a piece of pumpkin pie with him.”

Thomas thought about it for a minute. “It’s due to Mr. Samuel that I am on the road today.”
“Why’s that?” the old man asked.
Between bites of pie and sips of coffee Thomas Gallo told him about the town square and the tree selection meeting. 

“So what kind of tree are you driving all the way to the big city to buy? What did they finally vote on?”
Thomas reached his fingers, now a little sticky from the pie, into the breast pocket of his worn chambray shirt. He fumbled around for a minute before coming up empty.
“Oh dang it, I lost the list!”  Thomas’ voice trembled.
Gabriel thought that his lone customer was about to start crying.
“Well check your other pocket son.”
Thomas was already digging into the right side pocket, knowing the results would be the same. He pushed the plate with two bites of pie left on it across the counter.
 “I messed up again!” Thomas slapped himself in the forehead with the palm of his big hand and looked down at the stained counter top. 

Messing up was something Thomas Gallo was accustomed to doing. As a toddler he had suffered a head injury that had slowed his thinking motor. He was a capable adult, he held a job better than most, had his own small place and even a little money tucked away in the Eden Savings & Loan. But his memory or rather lack of memory kept him “messing up” on a pretty regular basis.

Gabriel placed his small left hand, wrinkled with age on top of Thomas’ big meaty hand, gently like a mother touching the cheek of a new born babe. With his right hand the cook tipped the coffee pot refilling Thomas’ mug with freshly brewed coffee. Thomas looked up from the counter and almost yanked his hand away from the touch of Gabriel. When he saw the smile on the cook’s face and the steam from the black coffee he stopped short and left his hand resting on the counter under the comfort of this little old man.

“Now Tommy, just stop and think for a minute. Let that coffee clear your mind, I’m sure that whatever was written on that list will come back to memory if you just let it in. But getting upset puts up road blocks in your head. You don’t need no road blocks between your ears.” He smiled.

The only person that called him “Tommy” had been his mother. Yet coming from this little cook standing behind the counter it was unexpectedly soothing. Thomas pushed back the John Deere cap that always rested on his head and scratched above his brow. He sat like that for a minute or two, and then took another sip of hot coffee.
“I can’t remember. Remembering ain’t what I do real well. I guess I’ll drive back empty handed. Maybe I can talk them into giving me another chance. I know that list is got to be there somewhere.”
“You don’t have to drive back empty handed Tommy. Did you forget where you’re sitting? You’re in the Every Thing Shoppe!”
Thomas looked around the shop; shelves overflowing with eccentricity.
“I don’t think you got any trees in here Mr. Gabriel. But I appreciate you trying.”
“Well of course they ain’t in here, wouldn’t get no sunshine. You sit right there, finish your pie. I’ll be right back.”

Through the double doors the little man disappeared again. Thomas looked at the pie plate and decided not to let the two last bites go to waste. Wouldn’t it be something if Gabriel did have a tree back there somewhere, Thomas thought. It didn’t occur to Thomas that Gabriel had no more an idea what was on the list than he did. Eating pie was on the front of his mind right now, that didn’t leave much room for reasoning.
To be continued

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Any Thing Tree



The population of the small town of Eden was just under 200 souls. One early autumn Sunday morning most of those had gathered together in the new town square. New because old Mr. Samuel had willed the small plot of land that sat smack dab in the middle of the town to the citizens of Eden. Mr. Samuel died two weeks prior, only about 2 of the 200 were at his funeral.


The town leaders believed enough time, “an appropriate amount of time”, had passed since Samuel’s death to move forward with plans for the newly acquired town square. The plans had already been laid with exception of the final step. A tree would be planted in the middle of the plot; the town gathering was to decide on what type of tree. Nearly everyone had an opinion and it took most of the cool morning to narrow down the choices. Fruit trees topped the list followed by a weeping willow, hazelnut and finally an aspen. No one wanted to tell old lady Cooper than an aspen probably wouldn’t do very well in the south, no reason to disappoint the only Yankee in Eden.


After a short break for lunch, the town leaders and few of the hopeful returned to the square. They decided they would send Thomas Gallo, the town’s gardener/maintenance man/sign painter into the big city to shop at one of the many garden and nursery stores. Thomas of course agreed to the task even though he really knew very little about picking out a tree, but the chance to drive the town’s big truck that far was appealing to the slightly slow-thinking Thomas Gallo.


On Monday morning Thomas retrieved the keys and a blank check from town secretary’s desk, with her permission of course, and pointed the big truck to the north. The city was more than two hours from Eden so Thomas decided to skip the coffee this morning, didn’t want to have to make too many pit stops along the way. An hour into the trip the skies began to darken with ominous looking rain clouds. Far off, lightning flashed across the horizon and strong wind gusts from the northeast shook the big truck. Thomas was getting nervous about driving in bad weather and knew a pit stop was going to necessary after all. He hoped it was someplace he could get the earlier skipped cup of coffee.


Ten minutes later large raindrops, the size of silver dollars began to pelt against the windshield. The wind gusts were replaced with a steady and powerful force.  Thomas had driven to the city only once before and couldn’t remember what was along the straight narrow highway. He said a little prayer under his breath and turned the wipers on.


Five very long minutes passed before Thomas could see the glow of a neon sign about a half mile away on the southbound side of the highway. The rain had increased in intensity preventing Thomas from reading the words on the sign. But the orange glow was enough to ease his anxiety.  Thomas down-shifted the big truck, slowing it down so as not to miss the turn. As the truck rolled to a stop Thomas flicked on the left blinker even though there were no other cars for miles. He could now see the sign in front of the small building, the neon tubes spelled out-“The Ever thing Shoppe”. Thomas wasn’t the brightest person in Eden, but he knew the “y” had stopped working and that the name of the store was “The Everything Shoppe.” Thomas hoped again that “everything” included a hot cup of coffee and a restroom.


He pulled into the empty parking lot and pushed the truck’s heavy door against the strong wind. Cold rain greeted Thomas as ran to the front entrance of the tiny shop. He heard a bell ring from the back of the store as he stepped over the threshold. The store seemed much larger in the brightly lit interior. In the middle of the store was a long counter where a dozen vacant bar stools stood at attention in front of it. Thomas could see a kitchen behind the counter and the aroma of fresh coffee filled the air. The thought of fresh hot coffee put a smile on his face as he looked around the shop. On the left and the right the walls were lined with floor to ceiling shelves. The shelves were packed with... well with everything. Thomas saw groceries, toys, tee-shirts and even cowboy boots. There was no organization, “rhyme or reason” his mother would have said, to how the many items sat on the shelves. Thomas thought if you walked to heavy in the small shop surely something would fall off the shelf, so he gently walked to the counter and grabbed a seat.


“You don’t have to worry about anything falling, never has, never will.” said a voice from the kitchen.


Thomas looked up and saw a short, rotund, grey haired man coming from the kitchen area. He wore a dirty apron with “Tip the Cook, there ain’t no waitress” embroidered in the brightest green Thomas had ever seen. The suggestion brought another smile to Thomas’ face.


“Can I get a cup of that coffee that smells so good?” Thomas asked.


“You might as well have a piece of pie with it. This storm is going to be here a while, I reckon that’s what pulled you off the highway and is probably going to keep you off for a bit, that is if your smart.”


The thought of pie sounded pretty good to Thomas. “I think I will, what kind of pie you got?”


“Well you saw the sign Thomas, Everything Shoppe, you name it, I got it.”


It took Thomas a moment to realize the little grey-haired cook had called him by his name. 
“How do you know my name?


The old man rubbed the stubble on his chin, “Well you look like a Thomas, so I took a guess. I tell you what Thomas, if you guess my name I will give the pie for free. You gotta pay for coffee, there ain’t none better around.”


Thomas looked him in the eye to see if he was pulling a joke on him. Thomas was accustomed to people pulling jokes on him, it didn’t bother him, and in fact he usually laughed with the jokester.


“I don’t think I could guess your name, I’m not really very good at things like that.”


“That’s alright; nobody ever gets it right anyway. Name’s Gabriel and the pie is still on the house. Business has been good today.” Thomas looked around the empty shop and thought that Gabriel may be joking again.


“You came in at a good time.” Gabriel said as if he had read Thomas’ thoughts. “Now what kind of pie would you like?”
To be continued...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Where Blessings Begin


He weighs less than a pound and would fit in the palm of my hand. He is my grandson, nestled safely in the womb of my youngest daughter, Sara. Sometime in July he will be introduced to the world, but for right now he rests safely where all miracles begin.   

Today we found out that “he” is a” he”. The small black and white sonogram picture along with a hand written note from the doctor, “Congratulations, it’s a boy” was an unconventional way to learn of the sex of a baby. It was important to Sara that she and baby daddy find out together, Michael wasn't able to be with her at the doctor’s appointment so she folded the doctor’s note and waited. I wanted to peek but I didn't.

I suppose that some would say from the beginning it has been unconventional. Sara, my youngest daughter is only seventeen years old and suddenly just a few months away from being a mother. I recall the night that she nervously revealed to me that she was pregnant. I am not sure how she thought I would react to this news, but she knew that truth must always come first, a hard lesson to hold onto, but one she championed.
I remember hearing her words and silently praying that my Lord would provide me with the words I needed to respond. He did.

I told this young couple that I believe life is a gift from God. I believe that God gives this gift because He loves. God’s perfect design of a man and woman united has never changed, we have. We change the rules because it makes us feel better about ourselves. And yet with patience, grace and love, God’s breath will still fill the tiny lungs of this baby from the moment they are formed. God doesn't offer a disapproving glance or shake a finger in ridicule.  He creates life.

I told them that their lives would change. I also told my daughter that there are things that must not change. Her education increased in importance, completion is still critical and required. It will be tough, but she can do it.

I told them that there would be those that want to advice, and those that want to ridicule. Listen to one, ignore the other.

What I didn't tell her, but will do so now, is about where blessings begin.

Unconventional describes every relationship I have ventured. I am not bragging nor am I ashamed, for what came from the unconventional changed my life. The Lord blessed me with six children, Michael Eric, Jennifer Lynn, Elizabeth Clara, James Edward, Sara Rose and Joseph Tyler. Each one a blessing, each one changed my life. Each one made me a better man. 
The blessings of our children begins with news of a life growing. It continues with hearing their first cry, watching them take their first breath. The blessing grows with their first steps and their first word, their first laugh. I was blessed when they came home excited from their first day of school. I was blessed when they hit the first baseball or rode their first bike. I was blessed when they discovered boys or girls, when they fell in puppy love and then fell out again.

I was blessed when those that came before you told me that “a baby was coming”
I was blessed when you told me that you were pregnant.
I was blessed when you told me “It’s a boy!”
For you, your blessings have just begun. Hold onto every moment; remember every tear,  remember every laugh. Because one day you will look up and your baby will be all grown up.
I love you baby girl, thanks for the blessings.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Realizing God

This has been a week of realizations. Like every week it began on Sunday morning. Just moments before Sunday School began a dear friend said to me, "We certainly have a lot of people to pray for." The weekly prayer request list did seem longer than usual. As I listened to the petitions I realized that my own prayer list was longer than it has been in sometime.

Four friends in my circle of life are battling cancer. Two are members of the aforementioned Sunday School class. One is a long time acquaintance from work. The last, the mother of my children. I have heard that these things tend to come in clusters, only it seems lately that the clusters come more frequently and expansively. I suppose that may simply have to do with the aging process. We are entering the years of susceptibility. Hair grays, skin wrinkles and cancer comes. Or it could be that the numbers just eventually line up for everyone. Regardless of the cause, this most unwanted cluster is consuming much of my "Quiet Think Time." And that doesn't seem fair.

Now all the realizations that formed this week weren't as sobering. Although these also tended to devour my Q.T.T.

The first revelation involved one of my employees. I am not going into detail here, it suffices to tell you that he restored my faith in the integrity of my fellow man. A situation presented itself that even the very best of us may have succumbed to temptation, choosing to take the wrong road. But he did not. Without any apparent hesitation he chose to do the right thing, the honest thing. Because of this man I realized that integrity is not a lost virtue.

Knowing something and realizing something do not always go hand in hand. I have known for sometime now that my youngest daughter, Sara Rose, is pregnant. She is due sometime in July. But it was just yesterday that realization settled in for me. I was in the front yard and Sara was walking towards me with the bright afternoon sun shining down upon her. The sun cast a glow around her as she approached me. When I looked up at her Sara looked pregnant for the first time as seen through the eyes of her father. Between the glow and the still barely discernible baby hump I realized my daughter, my baby girl, is indeed expecting a child of her own. I have never witnessed such pure beauty.

And finally, realization stormed in one last time this week when my youngest son, Joseph Tyler, told me he would like to go to a school dance Friday night. This will be his first dance, I guess you could even say that it will be his first date. He had earlier revealed to me that he has a "girl". Joseph will turn 13 in April. I realized that my youngest son, my video playing, cartoon watching son is growing up. I want him to....sort of.
His maturing is in lock-step with my aging. I realize that the day will come when my nest is finally empty. There have been times when I cherished this thought, but reality has dampened the allure.

Now, in the past when realizations came clustered and abundantly I knew that meant I must focus my Quiet Thinking Time on God. My favorite way to do that was to grab a fishing pole and a handful of flies then head out to the river. I love fishing, even more than catching fish. If you are a true fisherman then you will know exactly what I mean. There may be no better way to clear your mind than spending time in the great outdoors, casting distance from the nearest body of water. Many years ago my destination was the mighty Kenai River in Alaska. Fishing on the Kenai or at the confluence of the Kenai and Russian rivers was so magnificent that quite often my Quiet Thinking Time was interrupted by some angler hollering "Fish on!" So I learned to plan my Quiet Thinking Time in the very early morning hours when most tourists would not be on the river. This allowed me time with God and the river.

It is quite different here in Texas. There is plenty of Quiet Time and very little fishing. Don't get me wrong, I love this great state. I was born here and I will die here. But after fishing Alaska, well nothing else compares. But the need to spend time with God in my favorite venue was strong, so this morning I packed my gear and headed to Braunig Lake. I was greeted by a beautiful sunrise and my choice of fishing spots.

I didn't catch any fish. I did see one jump and observed on lucky angler take one from the stained water, but that was it. Don't say "Aw." It is okay, I went there to spend time with God, not that a nibble wouldn't have been nice, just not needed.

As the morning turned into afternoon the peacefulness continued,  interrupted only by the constant quacking of a rather annoying duck. I deduced by the duck's behavior that she was accustomed to being pampered by humans. (I am guessing that the duck was a she because it never shut-up) She must have thought that I too would be willing to share a cracker or two. She was wrong.

But I digress. By spending time with God I realized the most important thing. In each of this week's realizations, the cancer cluster, the restoring of integrity, a new baby coming soon and the maturation of my youngest son, God is in each one!

God didn't reveal to me His plans for these people. Or why people whom I love suffer a terrible illness. Nor did He show me why life moves so quickly towards unwanted separations. God revealed to me His love for them. The comfort I felt in this realization as I sat on the banks of Braunig Lake came from knowing the comfort that God brings to each of them. No matter how the realities appear  to me, I know that God is there for them. For me. For you.

So I spent the morning wetting a hook.

I spent the day realizing God.