Four friends in my circle of life are battling cancer. Two are members of the aforementioned Sunday School class. One is a long time acquaintance from work. The last, the mother of my children. I have heard that these things tend to come in clusters, only it seems lately that the clusters come more frequently and expansively. I suppose that may simply have to do with the aging process. We are entering the years of susceptibility. Hair grays, skin wrinkles and cancer comes. Or it could be that the numbers just eventually line up for everyone. Regardless of the cause, this most unwanted cluster is consuming much of my "Quiet Think Time." And that doesn't seem fair.
Now all the realizations that formed this week weren't as sobering. Although these also tended to devour my Q.T.T.
The first revelation involved one of my employees. I am not going into detail here, it suffices to tell you that he restored my faith in the integrity of my fellow man. A situation presented itself that even the very best of us may have succumbed to temptation, choosing to take the wrong road. But he did not. Without any apparent hesitation he chose to do the right thing, the honest thing. Because of this man I realized that integrity is not a lost virtue.
Knowing something and realizing something do not always go hand in hand. I have known for sometime now that my youngest daughter, Sara Rose, is pregnant. She is due sometime in July. But it was just yesterday that realization settled in for me. I was in the front yard and Sara was walking towards me with the bright afternoon sun shining down upon her. The sun cast a glow around her as she approached me. When I looked up at her Sara looked pregnant for the first time as seen through the eyes of her father. Between the glow and the still barely discernible baby hump I realized my daughter, my baby girl, is indeed expecting a child of her own. I have never witnessed such pure beauty.
And finally, realization stormed in one last time this week when my youngest son, Joseph Tyler, told me he would like to go to a school dance Friday night. This will be his first dance, I guess you could even say that it will be his first date. He had earlier revealed to me that he has a "girl". Joseph will turn 13 in April. I realized that my youngest son, my video playing, cartoon watching son is growing up. I want him to....sort of.
His maturing is in lock-step with my aging. I realize that the day will come when my nest is finally empty. There have been times when I cherished this thought, but reality has dampened the allure.
Now, in the past when realizations came clustered and abundantly I knew that meant I must focus my Quiet Thinking Time on God. My favorite way to do that was to grab a fishing pole and a handful of flies then head out to the river. I love fishing, even more than catching fish. If you are a true fisherman then you will know exactly what I mean. There may be no better way to clear your mind than spending time in the great outdoors, casting distance from the nearest body of water. Many years ago my destination was the mighty Kenai River in Alaska. Fishing on the Kenai or at the confluence of the Kenai and Russian rivers was so magnificent that quite often my Quiet Thinking Time was interrupted by some angler hollering "Fish on!" So I learned to plan my Quiet Thinking Time in the very early morning hours when most tourists would not be on the river. This allowed me time with God and the river.
It is quite different here in Texas. There is plenty of Quiet Time and very little fishing. Don't get me wrong, I love this great state. I was born here and I will die here. But after fishing Alaska, well nothing else compares. But the need to spend time with God in my favorite venue was strong, so this morning I packed my gear and headed to Braunig Lake. I was greeted by a beautiful sunrise and my choice of fishing spots.
I didn't catch any fish. I did see one jump and observed on lucky angler take one from the stained water, but that was it. Don't say "Aw." It is okay, I went there to spend time with God, not that a nibble wouldn't have been nice, just not needed.
As the morning turned into afternoon the peacefulness continued, interrupted only by the constant quacking of a rather annoying duck. I deduced by the duck's behavior that she was accustomed to being pampered by humans. (I am guessing that the duck was a she because it never shut-up) She must have thought that I too would be willing to share a cracker or two. She was wrong.
But I digress. By spending time with God I realized the most important thing. In each of this week's realizations, the cancer cluster, the restoring of integrity, a new baby coming soon and the maturation of my youngest son, God is in each one!
God didn't reveal to me His plans for these people. Or why people whom I love suffer a terrible illness. Nor did He show me why life moves so quickly towards unwanted separations. God revealed to me His love for them. The comfort I felt in this realization as I sat on the banks of Braunig Lake came from knowing the comfort that God brings to each of them. No matter how the realities appear to me, I know that God is there for them. For me. For you.
So I spent the morning wetting a hook.
I spent the day realizing God.
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